Michelle Steiner

Deciding whether I want to disclose my disability or not is one of the most difficult parts of having one. My learning disability is hidden, and this gives me the privilege of being able to choose the audiences to which I disclose my disability easier than a person with a visible disability. Each option has its advantages and disadvantages and depends greatly on the situation. Some of the advantages include getting the support I need and the chance to connect with others. The disadvantages of sharing your disability may be that people have a fixed mindset on what a person with one can do, and it can lead to others using it against you. Disclosing your disability is a skill that takes practice and time.

Choosing my audience is the first step in deciding whether I chose to disclose my disability. When I was in school, many professors and other school officials needed to know that I had one. In college, I was registered with the office for students with disabilities, but it was my job to let my professors know. Giving the school officials this knowledge has helped me to get accommodations such as a note-taker, extended test time, and tutoring.

I learned the hard way that it’s not beneficial to tell all of your peers, because of the stigma. I can remember other students not believing that I had one and compared me to others with my disability who could do things that I can’t. I also had peers who thought that they gave me an unfair advantage or were getting the answers. Other people thought that using tools such as a calculator in math class was cheating.

It’s helpful for my employer to know what my disability is and what support I need. The staff I work with knows that I can’t help with math but can be an asset with reading and other job duties. When I talk about my disability, I try to talk about it calmly and explain the ways that it could affect my ability to do a job. I also try to emphasize what strengths I can bring to the job. Often employers sometimes look at my learning disability as a risk rather than asset. I have not always understood employers’ attitudes towards my disability. Many times, they thought I was making it up or screwing up on purpose. I’m blessed to be with an understanding employer who not only understands my ability but can see the value that I bring.
When I’m in the community, I use my discretion on whether I tell or conceal it. Often when I disclose it, people don’t understand. I have had people who have told me that I don’t look disabled. I’ve also had people who think that I have overcome it because I have had success in certain areas. What many people don’t realize is that I strategize to help me, but that won’t cure me. People can’t see my brain and the difficulty that I have. Other individuals can’t understand why I can’t drive or read the face of a clock.

The only visible thing is a separate condition that affects how I walk. I walk with my feet turned in due to how I was positioned in the womb. People have described it as creepy looking, and others have mocked how I walked. I have also had those who ask if it hurts. Physically my feet don’t hurt because of how I want, but emotionally it hurts when people make rude comments about it. It’s harder for me to talk and answer people’s questions about this. I have found that It’s simply best to say, “It’s how I walk.” The choice of whether I disclose my disability depends on the situation. I once thought that I had to let everyone know about it and understand it. Anytime I share this information, I always run the risk of rejection. Having a disability is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is my choice with whom I share it and how much information I wish to give.